What Makes A Good Tinder Profile?

I haven’t been doing much swiping on Tinder this week, I’m super busy and it’s actually SO tough to keep up with everyone! I’m realising how different it must be to use the app with one match compared to forty. Having lots of matches is actually really stressful, you feel like you owe all these people your attention – some of them I’ve clicked with instantly, one more than the rest and a few just going through the motions replying because I don’t want to be a dick. With my workload and social media presence elsewhere I feel like I constantly have thousands of messages to reply to so now that I’ve settled in I think I need to start taking my swiping a bit more seriously – I should feel excited when I make a match rather than an often uninterested reaction of “oh, cool…next!” which makes the whole thing pretty pointless from an actual dating perspective. I spent some time last night unmatching the people that don’t speak to me or where the conversation fizzled out within three messages. I think a few people have unmatched me too, they probably found this blog and think I’m a waste of time. I guess I am for a lot of them but, at the same time, I am single and I am open to meeting someone new. I’m also being a massive baby about meeting up with anyone right now – it’s scary! I did ‘accidentally’ meet my first Tinder Match this weekend though as we were both at the same event. He was nice and it was less scary obviously than having to meet someone for a ‘date’ (particularly as someone that’s never dated!) but I will have to get out there a bit at some point, a few have actually asked me on dates now, mostly men have just asked for my number though or stopped talking to me. I’ve also accidentally super-liked a couple people now, which is very awkward, and last night I very, very, VERY nearly super-liked my ex boyfriend when showing my sister his profile. Just as a ‘look who it is’ but I nearly dropped my phone and swiped in the process, luckily it didn’t register but I nearly died.

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The pressure is REAL, this guy gets me. This is essentially the route my mind takes with any positive situation, sure we’re having a great time right now but I can’t enjoy it because I know that, sooner or later, one of us is going to go off the other one and that’s going to really, really suck. Definitely not a good mindset for dating.

Loads of you this week have been getting in touch telling me your Tinder experiences and, to be honest, they have mostly been good! Sort of like TK Maxx, you might be there a while but if you’re willing to wade through all the crap there’s actually some real diamonds now and again. There just needs to be some patience involved. I have actually met a few really nice guys on Tinder and there is already one in particular that I quite like. I definitely don’t think Tinder is all bad, so I don’t want anyone getting those vibes from my blog. I guess the last one could be seen as a bit of a downer, so I thought I’d show you some of the things that I think make a good Tinder profile, even if it hasn’t quite convinced me to right-swipe.

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Your photos: This can be shallow but it does also tell you a lot of things about someone. I can tell if I think you’re hot, I do like it if a guy works out…nice arms/shoulders don’t go unnoticed. Nothing insane but I go to the gym a few times a week so I’d like it if my potential partner did as well (It’s only fair, right?!) I like smiley photos, I can see if you like to have fun, generally good quality and a variety of images is great, too. Please don’t have all your photos as you with friends because I don’t know which one you are and I’m not a risk-taker. One guys main picture was of his car, I don’t even know if this is meant to be a good impressive car, I’m totally clueless but it’s not even a good photo of the car?!

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Help me out here…Is this a really good car I will never get to be a passenger in?

You’ve made me laugh: Of course by ‘laugh’ I just mean I found it humorous and exhaled out of my nose before swiping left, but still. Good effort! Acknowledging references to Tinder profiles always briefly entertains me, sort of indicates that you’re pretty grounded and not taking everything too seriously, you’re self aware. One guy says “There are no photos of me surfboarding or skiing” – this is an actual thing. Every single profile is someone seemingly ‘well travelled’ but mostly just skiing, skiing, skiing. The men are also ALL 6ft 3, which they have to tell you right away, it also wasn’t their wedding and that baby is their niece, not theirs. Oh, everyones after a travel partner too. For Thailand usually, or just for an upcoming wedding.

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It’s funny when someone falls over but it’s better when they think it’s funny, too.

There’s been loads of profiles that got a small chuckle out of me in my head; “I got really good GCSE’s when I was younger”, Tinder, where personality counts…“,I’ll make you crease up more than Gordon Ramsey’s forehead” and “Living dreams and custard creams” – funny one-liners but just weren’t enough to clinch the deal. Sometimes a clever joke can reveal a deal-breaker though, “I’ve been smoking for more than ten years now, so I’m clearly not afraid of commitment – #boyfriendmaterial” funny but I don’t smoke, so, left. There are also a lot of bad ‘dad’ jokes or puns floating around though, such as “A book fell on my this morning but I’ve only got my shelf to blame”…or much worse ones like, “I got rid of my drums so I need something else to bang” Ick.

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Pretty sure I’ve seen this before but, legit life advice still.
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I know them feels all too well.
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Tempting but this was the same guy with the ‘I need something new to bang‘ pun.
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Big fan of self-deprecating humour.

Your bio stands out: I’ll always notice some good emoji use, references like “searching for my meme queen” or “Looking for someone who can make me laugh as much as Dwight Schrute” – Hell yes to any pop-culture references that I understand and aren’t Star Wars. I love The Office and obviously *everyone* loves Dwight. I nearly right-swiped but this guys picture is a selfie with a mirror in the background behind him and he’s wedged his underwear into a thong. This scares me and I quickly retreat.

One guys profile images run like a power-point slideshow, entitled “Why You Should Swipe Right And Go On A Date With Me.” It involved photos as well as lots of positives, ranging from “I can bake” to “I might be a broken PhD student but that means I’m smart as fuck. I’ll probably get a good job in the future” with headers for each slide. Very cute and my sister ‘awww’d this guy for a long time saying he’d make someone a lovely and caring boyfriend. I still swiped left though, sorry sis! Personally I like something short and snappy that I connect with, it says something about the guys that I like and maybe it makes me laugh too. Here’s some of the longer ones, though:

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Very cute.

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No dick pics is a good promise to make but number 1 is totally calling me out, I feel a bit bad and am actively going to try to *not* do that any more!

You are vegan or vegetarian: or at least health conscious. Generally an ‘alternative’ person I assume I’ll have more in common with in terms of music but also views, tend to be more liberal etc. I’m vegetarian, haven’t really eaten meat my whole life but committed to being vegetarian about 8 years ago. On average I probably have two vegan meals a day and one vegetarian but my boyfriends have mostly all eaten meat, it’s not a deal-breaker but it would be a nice bonus!

Your anthem: This is such a good feature to Tinder! Someone had New Found Glory – Ballad of the Lost Romantics, which isn’t even that well known with actual NFG fans (I am a massive fan) and is around the right era for most of my music tastes, so that’s definitely a big positive for me. As well as some Enter Shikari and Beartooth. Sometimes this has helped persuade me and sometimes it’s just not quite enough when evaluating the whole package.

You have a photo with a cute animal: Yes, I’m as guilty as everyone else. This always distracts me from the rest of the profile, swooning over puppies and cats. One guy writes, “you can use my Netflix while I supply pizza and pictures of puppies” which sounds amazing because I’m pretty sure I’m the only person who still doesn’t have Netflix. Another one says “I’ll buy you food and I have a dog” …all these offerings of food are great, with puppies clinching the deal. On Tinder, there are SO many good dogs! Everyone has a dog, or has at least posed with someones cute dog and I have to restrain my thumb from instantly liking the dog as if it were a Facebook post. Nearly got caught out a few times and have to remind myself to ignore the pup. It’s not just dogs, though, there’s all sorts on offer. There’s one photo of a guy with two elephants, only this one is slightly different to the others I’ve seen as he’s laying on his front and their trunks seem to be exploring his butt cheeks…I’ll round up this blog with some of my other favourites:

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This bio made me laugh so much.
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So. Many. Bunnies.

An ode to all the cute animals I will never meet ❤

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6 thoughts on “What Makes A Good Tinder Profile?

  1. Hmm the positive idea is good but I can be risky cause it might lower your expectation and landing on the next best thing. Make sense? 😁

    I don’t have much insight on this blog but this was a really good read while I was commuting and on a rainy morning. Had a good giggle fit more like 😅 I’d associate myself with comedians like Richard Ayoade, Noel Fielding and Russell Kane, due to their hilarious take on society and self depreciating humor. Would love to know which kind of jokes would make you swipe right considering witty one liners don’t really work on you.

    I think you probably are more affectionate towards the fur babies than the guys who have the pictures. I like the one with the deer the most though, it’s face is like menh, will be super awesome if it stuck its tongue out 😛😂 super cute!

    Before I go, Dwight Schrute! Got tears eyed when the series ended. Ugh Dwight! You are so annoying but I’m so attached to your character! 😭 Hardcore Parkour!!! 😂😂😂

  2. Very interesting read Gemma.
    In the beginning you caught my attention when you mentioned a dating mishap but then never elaborated actually you went off on a tangent about shopping and completely lost me… skipped over all of that but enjoyed the finish

  3. While I thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog posts….I HAD to comment on this article. The screen shot of the bio where he talks about wanting to be a T-Rex is actually a quote from the movie ‘Step Brothers’. Not negating the fact he could still be a weirdo though😂😂

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